This Is What Happens When I Read On My Day Off

"Oh, why can't the English learn to set
A good example to people whose
English is painful to your ears?
The Scotch and the Irish leave you close to tears.
There even are places where English completely
disappears. In America, they haven't used it for years!"

When did it become okay to use contractions in published works? Why is a kid utterly confused when I say "pardon" instead of "what" when I would like him to repeat what he said? Why do I say "um"? And does the quotation mark go before or after the "?"? The irony is that I hardly ever use a subject when recounting my day and of course must consider the placement of the comma - use when two independent, right? But while some choices are for artistic and poetic purposes, some clearly demonstrate what I might call a degeneration of proper grammar. But perhaps it is the author's goal to connect with what he presumes is a reader who is put off by the asserted pretention of "we have" instead of "we've." And it is of course the nature of language to morph and change and develop idioms. And I love figuring out how our language has developed at the same time that I fight its further change. Perhaps I have just pure academic curiosity. but perhaps I wish I could say "She is the friend with whom I am going climbing" without getting odd looks or thinking too hard. I never thought I would find such joy in language and at the same time these questions drive me mad. Yes, 'dogs get mad, people get angry,' but I mean they make me crazy. (I am remembering our winter conversations of "David is taller than I" vs. "David is taller than me.")

"A whole other game"

I have two points about which I will think with my fingers.

1. Other

I don't understand it. How about "different game." Is 'other' okay?

2. And even if 'other' is okay or 'different' is used...WHOLE is not correct, is it? If one were to use 'complete' they would say "a completely different game"....yes?

And in PA I think we commonly use "whole nother" or "whole 'nother" which I think I use too.

I'm again torn. Loving difference and learning and respect. Cringing when someone says "Me and my brother went to the store."

Then there is the 'whole other' topic of play on words because English is awesome for that and I thought about it quite a bit on our 18 mile hike. and poor Janet for hearing some of this language nonsense this weekend!

So do I blame Grandma or do I thank her?

Until I make no sense - Thank You.