Green Leaves, Blue Moon

This evening I gave my final evening program and said my last goodbyes to Penrose Point State Park. We had a nice gathering in the afternoon – as the end of summer draws near, I head back to the ‘burgh, the hosts head back to Arkansas (I think), and the aides finish up and head on to whatever is next in their lives. And a Twanoh birdie (Larry) told Janet that my favorite cake was angel food, and so she actually got angel food cake and prepared fresh blackberries and strawberries with it! Yum.
We went through my programs and did paperwork. Then back to the host site and served for the last time as an interpretive intern. I realized in my introduction that I slipped up and said “interpreter” instead of “interpretive intern” …I don’t know if that means anything profound or if I was just distracted, but I like to think that I have earned my keep. At the end of the program I played a couple of songs and then let this sweet 8 year old girl try the guitar. She played a little, and then I built chords while she played, and we wrote a song called “green leaves.” After she finished playing, immediately she wanted a guitar for Christmas. And then I said goodnight and she came up and gave me a big hug….and looking up at me, said “this is the greatest day of my life.”

And so I said goodbye to that final child, and I said goodbye to Dan and the park aides. Janet and I will say our final goodbyes tomorrow when she comes over to do an evaluation. Those of you who know me might be shocked when I say I only cried a little…but I have a feeling its going to hit me tomorrow.

I have reflected a ridiculous amount as I have written letters to all of the rangers here; on top of that I had a great conversation with Dan, and so now I am not quite reflective enough to close this blog. I have several more days in the pacific northwest, and I hope on one of them I can find the words to explain just what this internship has meant to me, how I have grown, how excited and scared I am to return to Pittsburgh, and how bitter sweet it is saying goodbye to people that have become more than supervisors and coworkers, but friends, and to an environment with which I have become so familier and to which I have become so close. I have climbed these trees and eaten this berries and clams and leaves. And in a field void of unnatural light I have looked at the stars and I have seen the bioluminescent sparkle on the caps of waves and I have climbed to the tops of mountains and stood at the top scared I might fall on the way down and stood at the top scared I might fall at the bottom, and I have led campfire sing a longs and I have shared this wonderful place with loved ones from home and I have shared with children this amazing thing we call “nature.” And now I go to a city where I hope I may find these joys or different joys.

And perhaps I have found some of the words…I will try harder tomorrow.

Happy Birthday Mom!

Tuesday I worked at Penrose for the afternoon/evening, reviewing my outlines and "final disc" with Dan and Matt. Wednesday I worked in the morning, and then joined Dan, Aaron, and Jack for some mountain adventuring, pizza, and movie time. From the top, we could see Seattle lit up in a temporary moment without clouds. Grey Jays close by and a sweet climb on some rocks on the way down. Dan and I had a sweet banter of music...a combination of old movie tunes, musicals, nursery rhymes, and rock music - some days I am clearly a Halloran. Today I worked a long day at home, went for a walk on the trails, and spent the evening making my thank you cards. I'm at the list-making point where I write down everything I need to do before heading out on Tuesday/Wednesday but don't actually do any of the things I need to.

Adventures

Yesterday Stacy and I took a neat hike through the woods. Last night Chrissy and I surprised Stacy (with Jason's help) for a "bachelorette" party which consisted of a bottle of wine, pizza, and the closing ceremony to the olympics. The perfect gathering. This morning Stacy and I took the ferry to Seattle, had lunch, and spent the early afternoon in the hair salon as she got her hair dyed and we talked wedding hair-dos. I had a lot of fun and said goodbye to the city.

This evening I sort of freaked out, but had some wonderful people from the home area calm me :0). I am excited to go back, but I'm in that awkward time where it is too early to pack but I'm getting anxious.

Let Them Eat Cake

Spent a wonderful afternoon at a bridal shower for Stacy. We ate and laughed and laughed. Her fiancé’s family is incredibly sweet and funny and so welcoming.

This evening Ranger Steve and I gave a program that we are developing together. We actually walked out to the canal and spent the late evening talking about the health of an estuary and all of the components that go into a healthy system. Steve's been really supportive and interested in my work, so it was neat to go through the whole process with him. It needs work but we're pretty excited about the topic. wonderful evening. wonderful day. and the weather was incredibly beautiful.

well poo

Long days and late nights, but I have an apartment!...I think. As long as I can get the lease signed out here soon. And I gave a program tonight and had a really good talk with Ranger Dan about my final product out here. I have to pack and clean and make approximately a bajillion thank you notes and finish all my work and say goodbye. I am so torn! I love the work I am doing and feel that I could do a lot more now that I’ve been here and worked and tried out ideas. I want to be home in SE PA with grandma and parents and I miss my friends from home home that I have not seen in an incredibly long time. And I have an apartment and (some) classes in Pittsburgh and I have friends. Lots of them whom I will hug and with whom I will share stories and buy popsicles in November and make homemade eggnog and have Tuesday dinners and sing and joke and go walking and running and edit papers and talk about the passive voice and sit on the Plaza. I want that but I am scared of a lot of things and I hate change and I hate goodbye and I was taught to never use hate unless I really mean it…and so I feel regrettably uncomfortable with and scared of change and it hurts to say goodbye to people that have made me grow up and that I have literally climbed mountains with and that I have laughed with and cried with and worn the green pants with and learned with and sparred with and so I don’t like it. And that thing that says that goodbyes are only there so you can have more hellos is crap when you are moving 3000 miles away and becoming an entirely different person.

This is perhaps the worst attempt at expressing my feelings ever and it is really just for me. Silly you for thinking I was unburdening my soul.

This isn’t even the half of it.

have been working at home wrapping up. Still waiting to hear back from several professors, but I am hoping things will work out. Spent the afternoon at belfair working with Steve on a program for this weekend. I said my first goodbye today, as Joel and his wife Mona are heading on vacation. Indeed I have a week and a half here and then I'm on down to visit Nancy and David and David and Antonia in CA.

She's Crafty

Just returned from a fun evening at Stacy and Jason's. Stacy and I took Twanoh dog for a run in the forest and then we (Stacy) made dinner and we watched Father of the Bride and some Olympics.

Dropped mom off at the airport this morning after a fun week(end). Many programs, a visit from Francie, dinner with S&J, and some talks/crafts/books. Wish I could write more, but I am unexplainably tired.

Surprise!

Leisurely morning. Took Mom to Belfair this afternoon to meet the rangers and then over to Kopachuck for the evening. As I was sitting in the office putting the 7 o'clock touches on the 8 o'clock program, I see a familiar face asking for Ranger Matt. It was someone from regional headquarters - the guy in charge of, and really dedicated to, interpretation. I asked him why he was at Kopachuck....and the answer was "to watch your program."

AHH!

It was my first time giving the program, it was a power point (always tricky), and suddenly I was quite nervous. I repeat: AHH!

It went wonderfully and it was great to have him there to talk with and compare notes, etc. He is one of the people who have made my internship possible, so (I say this after the program went well) it was cool for me to show what I have been doing.


It seems that I've made an impact here. As I finish my work and leave it behind for the rangers, I see that I actually have produced work that will help to increase interpretation in parks. Steve is delivering one of my programs at Belfair tomorrow, and Matt tonight wanted to meet before I leave to review my work so that he could continue to use it once I have gone. It seems that I am wrapping up (I still have until the 31st), but tonight, for now, assured me that it has been worthwhile. I know it has been incredible for me, and now I humbly and comfortably see that I have had an impact on the people here. I think its a good thing when people wish they could make a job for me to keep me on.

All in a Tuesday

Mom's here and we are sleepy and had food and music and I discovered that I go buying now. She is sort of crazy.

Great Friends, Gobs of Photos and...Mosquito Bites

I am very tired but know that if I don't write now, I won't write. This afternoon I returned home after two nights away (vacation...woo!). Sunday night I stayed at Stacy's and prepared for our trip. Monday morning we picked Janet up and drove to Gifford Pinchot National Forest to a soundtrack of Peter Mayer (thanks Kelly!) and some a cappella. Setting off on a dusty trail that turned to rock that mixed with snow, we climbed to high camp on Mt. Adams and reached camp by 3:45. It was incredible. We were tired and bug-bitten and in one of the most spectacular places...anywhere. We set up camp and went exploring our alpine meadow/volcanic boulder/glacial lake surroundings. From our camp we could see Adams towering above us, St. Helen's slightly to the left, Rainier slightly to the right, and the Cascades spread out before us. When we climbed to the top of a nearby ridge, our view extended to eastern Washington.

I have very few words. Perhaps it is because the experience was breathtaking or perhaps because my exhaustion has finally hit. Noone else was at camp and so we enjoyed a solitary evening of exploring, eating dinner, taking pictures, taking funny pictures, watching to sun set, being scared by the moon, laughing, relaxing, and watching the stars come out (and some shoot across the sky).

I asked a friend "who the heck makes their 'girls' night out' climbing a mountain?"

His answer..."badass girls."

It was wonderful and slightly challenging but most of all I saw a marmot three times as big as any marmot I have ever seen.

I will miss these people.

Unabashed Joy

Tonight I'm off to Stacy's to crash for the night. Tomorrow we are picking up Janet and finally the *three* of us are going off backpacking. I'm pumped. So pumped.

Had a spectacular past few days for a multitude of reasons what with successful presentations, great adventuring, laughter, green pants, friends, dynamic weather, good music, great music, and conversations with many people that I love.

This weekend is going to be sweet and when I get back, MOM'S COMING!! (and I haven't cleaned.... :0/)

And I Missed the Opening Ceremony

Fun program tonight and music afterwards. There is a real feeling of community now at Twanoh and I've had some great conversations with the hosts. Caught up after far too long with wonderful friends from home and talked to my academic advisor about classes...things will work out. Things will work out but I wish they would now so I can stop thinking about it and focus on being here. I am utterly not ready to leave.

I need an apartment

Minor anxiety attack today about this fall.

I also watched a lot of youtube clips of the West Wing.

and I have wonderful friends on both coasts.

I cannot believe I would ever admit it, but I miss the telephone.

This Planet

Today I received a post card from a friend in India who is home but leaving for Germany. Then I wrote a letter to a friend in Niger.

This Is What Happens When I Read On My Day Off

"Oh, why can't the English learn to set
A good example to people whose
English is painful to your ears?
The Scotch and the Irish leave you close to tears.
There even are places where English completely
disappears. In America, they haven't used it for years!"

When did it become okay to use contractions in published works? Why is a kid utterly confused when I say "pardon" instead of "what" when I would like him to repeat what he said? Why do I say "um"? And does the quotation mark go before or after the "?"? The irony is that I hardly ever use a subject when recounting my day and of course must consider the placement of the comma - use when two independent, right? But while some choices are for artistic and poetic purposes, some clearly demonstrate what I might call a degeneration of proper grammar. But perhaps it is the author's goal to connect with what he presumes is a reader who is put off by the asserted pretention of "we have" instead of "we've." And it is of course the nature of language to morph and change and develop idioms. And I love figuring out how our language has developed at the same time that I fight its further change. Perhaps I have just pure academic curiosity. but perhaps I wish I could say "She is the friend with whom I am going climbing" without getting odd looks or thinking too hard. I never thought I would find such joy in language and at the same time these questions drive me mad. Yes, 'dogs get mad, people get angry,' but I mean they make me crazy. (I am remembering our winter conversations of "David is taller than I" vs. "David is taller than me.")

"A whole other game"

I have two points about which I will think with my fingers.

1. Other

I don't understand it. How about "different game." Is 'other' okay?

2. And even if 'other' is okay or 'different' is used...WHOLE is not correct, is it? If one were to use 'complete' they would say "a completely different game"....yes?

And in PA I think we commonly use "whole nother" or "whole 'nother" which I think I use too.

I'm again torn. Loving difference and learning and respect. Cringing when someone says "Me and my brother went to the store."

Then there is the 'whole other' topic of play on words because English is awesome for that and I thought about it quite a bit on our 18 mile hike. and poor Janet for hearing some of this language nonsense this weekend!

So do I blame Grandma or do I thank her?

Until I make no sense - Thank You.

Sole to Soul at Sol Duc

It was beautiful and breathtaking and striking and magnificent. It was painful and challenging and breathtaking and hard.

I just returned from an incredible day (and some) in the Olympics. Today, Janet and I hiked an 18 mile loop and I want to write more but I am tired. It was spectacular and...a challenge. My ankles are swollen and yucky and my whole body is rather upset with me, but my will is stronger and my heart is pleased. My soles are killing my but my soul is doing just fine.

I am going to go to sleep now because I need to. I will try to write more tomorrow...

Olympics!!

Hiking tonight and tomorrow...peace out!

Milkshakes Are Delicious But Not Lunch

Things I remembered or learned or am reminded of:

I love the people I work with.

Milkshakes are delicious but not lunch.

If you meet a cougar, look big.

I am very hungry.

Three day old soup is still good.

Sort of interesting when you greet a flannel shirt like an old friend.

"You promised us we could play with this stuff" ~ 5(?) year old Ashley, reminding me that during my presentation, I had assured them they could come up afterward and play with my jar of dirt.

No joke.

And thus, my life as an interpreter:

Woke up.

Ate food. Pancakes.

Showered.

Ate more food. Soup.

Spent the morning talking to friends and reading by the fire.

Donned on the green pants.

Went to Penrose for a surprise birthday cake for Rangers Kristie and Dan. Hung around at penrose talking about rocks.

Voice mailbox was full and so I went through old messages and laughed out loud and refused to delete them.

Kopachuck.

I thoroughly enjoy my time at Kopachuck- every time I go, there is something memorable I leave with. Today was absolutely fantastic. I had a great crowd tonight. The group was a good size, and more than that- boy, were they talkative! One girl in particular was so eager to talk and share and I just am so torn when that happens. You know she wants to tell you all of the cool things she knows and I want to hear them! but at the same time...they have very little to do with anything I am talking about. So I smiled at her and made a silent promise to her to somehow incorporate this girl and all of the things she was saying into this program.

Sunflowers.

For some reason, she got stuck on sunflower seeds, and so while I was trying to get them to answer "nitrogen" (what makes up 78/9% of the atmosphere but can't be used by plants when in 'air form'?) she was saying "sunflower seeds!"

"good guess, but not quite"

So we talk about the nitrogen cycle...("sunflowers").
The alder trees partner with bacteria so they can get nitrogen ("sunflower seeds")
the trees drop their waste, the leaves decompose,("sunflowers") become soil...

"and what is going to use that soil?"

"Sunflowers!"

Yes! Plants! Yes!

Holy cow it worked. And there were others...when she talked about sand, I talked about glass. When she talked about clams, I wove it in and talked about the waste left behind. I'm not saying it made any sense, but I think it did...I hope. It was fun at least.

And then we sang and clapped and laughed.

And then Ashley reminded me, "You promised us we could play with this stuff." So we looked at the jar of leaves and we looked at the jar of dirt. Little Gavin picked up the jar of leaves with one hand and asserted that it was so light he could just pick it up like that. So I asserted that I could too...and then giggles as for several minutes they showed me how easily they could lift the jar while whenever I tried to pick it up, it shot my hand down to the ground and I needed them to help me carry it. Awesome. AND THEY WERE PLAYING WITH A JAR OF DIRT.

Somehow in all of this I ended up doing pushups, and then jumping jacks, and then somehow we started playing tag. Ah ha! Time for them to learn a new game...and so I ended the day with Bat and Moth.

Enter the little boy from the campsite next door who didn't know anyone, but sort of watched us play. "Come on over!" He shakes his head and politely says no. And then a minute later he comes back to watch again.

"Come on over!"

Got him! "yeah." He grins. "it looks like a lot of fun."

And he was awesome and enthusiastic and opened right up.

And then it was time to say goodnight and little Ashley came up and gave me a big hug and shy little Sylus stood behind her in line. And we laughed and took pictures and said goodbye.

And that was my time at Kopachuck so now you know.